Unity

 This year I have pondered upon and studied unity a lot.  Between personal situations, an election year, COVID and science being politicized, and so much blatant racism I have felt a lot of division this year.  I thought a major theme of general conference in October was unity.  Enoch and the city of Zion were mentioned in four different talks.  I've also been elated that the prophets and apostles have spoken up against racism recently.  So in this post I will try and synthesize my thoughts and some of the conclusions I have come to.  I'd like to speak to unity with self, unity with God, unity with others, and overall world peace, Zion-type society type of unity.

Unity with self and unity with God- I'm putting these two together because they seem so intertwined.  We find unity with self as we are living true to our highest self and in alignment with our principles.  I've found more inner unity as I've spent time in reflection.  I've done some therapy, been coached, journaled a lot, studied scriptures, conference talks, listened to lots of podcasts and really took the time to reflect and ponder.  It's helped me to see my innermost thoughts and desires and places I'm out of alignment so I can work on getting into alignment.  If we ignore problems in front of us we really can't address them.  I've also spent time in prayer and seeing what God wants for me right now.  I think sometimes it's easy for us to fall into the trap of people pleasing.  But I've really noticed a weight off my shoulders as I've had my own back in situations.  I think using some self care and self love can go a long way for you to show up as your best self in situations.  I think as we live in alignment with our values we can feel God's love even more in our lives.  My favorite talk from conference was from Sharon Eubank: By Union of Feeling We Obtain Power with God.  In it she says Jesus "will help clear away the bad as fast as the good does grow."  As we are turning to Christ he helps us overcome our weaknesses.  We can truly feel unified as we work with him and feel that inner peace.  I'm grateful for a Savior who can help us overcome and for the many people and avenues that can teach us.  Forgiveness really is a gift from Christ that can help us feel inner peace and unity.  One of the blessings that has come to me from all the heartache this year has been how many people have spoken up and resources available for me to examine my own racism.  There are blatant racist things that everyone agree on as being racist, but there are also a lot of nuanced ways racism shows up.  By examining myself I've noticed a lot of cringe-worthy things I've said and done.  By recognizing these and changing, I do find more unity with self and unity with God and I'm sure it helps with my relationships with others as well.  One thing I've realized this year is that by being silent in the past I've been complicit.  By speaking my truth and speaking up I've felt more of that inner unity even if it can lead to some uncomfortable conversations or situations.  But peace from Christ trumps some of that discomfort that may come.

Unity with others- As we give up trying to feel control we can feel more unity with others.  We really cannot control others thoughts, feelings, or actions.  Sometimes that's hard for control freaks like myself.  Part of unity is realizing that we can't force our ways or timelines on others.   We can, however, control our own throughts, feelings, and actions.  I've seen some people post about things with the gist, if you're showing up as racist we can't be friends.  And I see where they are coming from.  But I've found persuading, getting to understand where people are coming from, having conversations, go a lot farther than shaming people.  I think it's important to note that getting to a place of showing up in love and compassion for others doesn't mean that we agree with others or condone their actions.  But it does mean that we give people permission to be themselves.  We are all at different places in our growth and development in various areas.  I think I put goodness into the world and also hurt others along the way.  I realize that other's who I see putting hurt into the world are also putting goodness into the world.  We are all human and all complex.  Things have a lot more grey area than I sometimes like to think with seeing things as black and white.  I'm grateful that I can change and improve and that others have that opportunity too.  Sister Eubank said, "We all beg for mercy for our sins and failures.  [Christ] freely gives it.  And He asks us if we can give that same mercy and understanding to each other."  We can show up in love and compassion while setting boundaries.  So in some situations, the best way to feel unity with others is from a distance.  We can have our back and stick to our boundary and let others work through things at their own speed.  I've found a feeling of compassion for others in trying to understand where they are coming from, and realizing others poor actions towards me is much more about their pain, fear, where they are at, than it is about me.  And you can love someone without liking them or agreeing with their actions.  It's helped me to take the drama out of conflict by realizing that conflict is just two different human brains seeing things differently.  Part of finding unity with others is not fighting so hard against conflict.  Sometimes there will be differences and conflict.  Your relationship with others is more about your thoughts about them.  Getting to unity and a place for things to heal can be a long process sometimes.  If we are not trying to rush and control it, and instead are patient, it's easier to feel that unity with others in the more complicated situations that can't be immediately resolved.  

A unified society- Perhaps the most thought-provoking quote from conference is from Sister Eubank.  She said "Unity doesn't magically happen; it takes work.  It's messy, sometimes uncomfortable, and happens gradually when we clear away the bad as fast as the good can grow."  So this piggybacks off of the last paragraph that sometimes to get to unity we need to be able to sit in our discomfort.  I listned to a Brene Brown podcast episode and loved what the guest said about unity.  She said fractured peace is actually farther from unity than conflict.  She spoke of fractured peace as not recognizing the problem that's in front of us.  With conflict we can actually recognize the problem and work towards a solution.  This helped me to see a unity continuum that goes fractured peace, then conflict, then unity.  This led me to thinking that it is people in positions of privilege and power (who want to keep that power and not share it with others) that want others to stay silent and have this facade of peace and unity.  I think of perpetrators, the wealthy and privileged who want to keep that wealth and privilege to themselves, and really any other situation where there is a power hierarchy.  These people want to keep this facade of unity going and don't like to address the issues in front of us.  I think of fractured peace with denying things like racism exists, or just happened back in the day, or things like perpetrators wanting victims to stay silent.  The powerful really like fractured peace because they don't have to deal with or recognize the problems that are there, and they get to stay in the position of power.  But the marginalized and those who have the least power feel this discord the strongest.  So I think to get to true unity we need to go through the messy part, where we are uncomfortable and have the hard conversations--both with our innermost self and with each other. Like will there ever be true unity or a Zion-like society when racism exists among us, or poverty, or abuse, or the mistreatment of the disabled, or any other manner of worldly ills? Real and true unity will only be acheived when the most marginalized among us also feel that inner peace and unity.  So while I don't see this happening until Jesus takes the wheel, I think it is something we can be getting closer to as we work towards it.  I love this call from our prophet: "Today I call upon our members everywhere to lead out in abandoning attitudes and actions of prejudice.  I plead with you to promote respect for all of God's children."  Working towards abandoning prejudice, having those uncomfortable and messy conversations (both with our innermost self and with each other), to get to unity is something our prophet is calling us to do right now.  Sister Eubank reminds us that "we are never alone in our efforts to create unity."  As we all work on unity we will get closer to this Zion-like society and have more of God's power in our life, our society, and our world. 

So that was a lot.  I told you I've been pondering on this topic a lot this year.  Hope you learned something new.  And I'd love to hear your thoughts on obtaining unity.